Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Acfloofpuncture (floofinition) – Floofese practice of inserting claws into skin to cure disease, relieve pain, incur relaxation, or for amusement. Origins: 1784, Flooftin.
In Use: “Snuggles was rapidly demonstrating herself as an acfloofpuncture specialist, sinking claws into every piece of human skin offered her.”
We were out shopping. This goes into the home decor bucket. I didn’t realize it, but we needed new kitchen towels for the upcoming autumn season. The previous inhabitants were food stained.
My wife said, “We also need new pillows.”
For what room and use, I wondered.
“The ones we have are too large. We need smaller ones, like that one lumbar pillow.”
Ah, I see, it’s the living room.
“Where did we get that lumbar pillow?” she finished.
I shrugged. I don’t have deep vested interest in the living room pillows.
Our shopping target was HomeGoods. A home furnishings store, it’s a TJ Maxx & Marshalls sibling. They sell at a discount. I often have a sense that they rebuy the stuff that couldn’t be sold in Macys and stores of that level to be resold at a discount.
We walked into the store from the 90 F degree summer heat into a tacky Halloween explosion. We had black skeletons festooned with glitter or lights. Halloween skulls and gnomes, fake pumpkins in displays of cotton, yarn, plastic, and glass. Halloween place settings with skulled plates and glasses were set up. Halloween blankets and pillows were available along with Halloween mugs. We were throw back onto our back foot by this display. Halloween was a weed, taking over a quarter of the store.
“What happened to the fall?” my wife asked.
Then we remembered. We’d come here a few weeks before Easter onto to find they were on July 4th. Of course they were on Halloween.
I cogitated, “I bet the Thanksgiving stuff will hit around October 1st.” I remembered then, that last year the Christmas stuff was out in bulk before Halloween.
I wouldn’t be surprised to see it Christmas in July in a few years.
So it’ll be Thanksgiving in June in the United States. At least at the stores.
Another cool, blue-sky deal rolls into Ashlandia. It’s Sunda, August 3, 2025, and 68 F. Claims are being staked that it’ll be 86 F with thunderstorms later today but I’m living in the now. We’re enjoying this streak of average normal summer. Been a few summers since we’ve had an extended streak, knock wood. Meanwhile sympathies and thoughts to all the places enduring floods, fire, wildfire smoke, and other disasters.
The morning joke between my wife and me is, “What has he done today?” We worry that the mango Offal Office occupant will launch a nuclear strike because he had a bad day at golf or more information about him and his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein was revealed. We joke without humor, “Did he raise tariffs 1,000 percent on food and rooster about how much we’re winning?” We’ve not seen any of his ‘wins’. Prices are still up and climbing. When prices aren’t climbing, it’s often because companies are giving you less for the same price they used to charge.
We were looking at online photos of his White House ‘improvements’. A huge, tacky gold-plated ballroom, with none of the grace of the building that houses the President and their family. Sickening. And look at that paved over Rose Garden. It demonstrates such a bare, empty vision. Yes, that is PINO TACO.
Today’s music came from dialogue with my spouse. We were talking about health issues. I was helping her with putting something on. “Easy, easy,” she cautioned. “Sorry, I answered. “I’ll try to use more care.”
The Neurons snatched that up like a dog going for a dropped piece of bacon. “Handle with Care” by The Traveling Wilburys was soon bouncing through the morning mental music stream. The Wilburys were a pop rock group formed by well-pedigreed pop rock musicians: George Harrison, Tom Petty, Roy Orbison, Jeff Lynne, and Bob Dylan. Each claimed to be a Wilbury brother. Their music was fun and relaxed, people with little to prove doing the thing that they loved to do.
“Handle with Care” was the group’s first effort, and it’s most commercially successful. Originally intended to be the B side of a song George Harrison was releasing, record company execs thought it too good for that purpose and suggested the group expand its efforts and make more music. And it all came about with serendipity. George needed another song. He met with Jeff for dinner, but Jeff was already dining with Roy, so the three of them dined together. George invited Jeff to help him with the song, and Roy asked if he could come along. A studio was needed; George remembered that Bob Dylan was local and had a garage studio. Sure, you can use it, Bob said. George needed his guitar, which was over at Tom Petty’s house. Tom asked if he could join because he had nothing else going on.
I mean, come on. What a neighborhood. Much better than mine, where we nod and complain about weather, politics, and prices. Maybe we should start writing songs about that stuff.
Time to rock on. Hope your day finds peace and grace, and perhaps something tasty to eat for your neglected taste buds. I’ve got coffee. Here we go. Cheers
Michael Seidel, writer 