Stuck In Arsehold
I was stuck in Arsehold for the last two weeks. You may have experienced the same.
I’ve been writing a novel while locked away. That’s not so different from my normal life, where I’m always working on a novel. Many people think I’m working on one novel forever and a day, but I’ve finished many. I shrug them off; I enjoy novel writing.
I think under ordinary circumstances, this would have been finished a few months ago. These aren’t normal times, at least for me. I’m assuming a lot with those words. It’s sadly probably normal for quite a few people to stay locked up in one place, with limited contact for other people. I think of prisons. Nursing homes. Hospitals. Yeah, getting downright depressing, isn’t it?
Some say that such solitude is a gift. I’m not one. While I’m a solitary person, I like outside stimulation. (Sounds a bit naughty, doesn’t it?) Like to walk to clear my mind, shift into writing mode, and slip into the noisy solitude of a good cuppa coffee in a coffee shop, hunch over my laptop, and tap away.
All that normal-for-me isn’t available now. Coronavirus lockdown, you know. Although I have coffee and space, I also have wife and cats. They struggle with my writing boundaries. My wife tries respecting them, but news of the world sets her off. I also don’t try enforcing my isolation with her, as she’s in the same situation as me. She’s much more verbal, however, and craves other contact. While she’s dancing and exercising Monday through Friday via Zoom, and meets with her book club once a month with Zoom, and Zooms into a coffee klatch almost every week, she likes expressing her opinions and insights vigorously and out loud. There’s usually a lot of swearing involved, too. She’s quite passionate about social justice, equality, human rights, and women’s rights. She also hates Trump and has little respect for most other Republicans. So I try to indulge, but then I suffer. Either way, one of us must suffer in our situation. We get over it, but it’s not ideal.
The cats, however, don’t give a damn that I’m writing, reading, playing a game, sleeping, eating, showering, or sitting on the toilet. Three cats share ownership over me. They have their own secret agendas, which surprisingly, often involves me. Part of that is which cat owns the most of me, and whether that’s acceptable to the other cats.
Between wife, news of the world, the coming and going of the muses, and the cats, novel writing progress has been uneven.
But I persevere. Sometimes, the worse interruption is by me to myself. Self-doubt. Imposter syndrome. General malaise. It struck hardest in Arsehold.
Arsehold is a place in my novel, wholly made up. I came up with the name months ago, a whim that made me laugh. I stuck with it, creating the setting around the name, devising the history of how it came to be. Yet, my characters struggled to get through Arsehold. I naturally responded, per my proclivities, to overanalyze what was going on and why, attempting to seek the root of my issues. I thought it might be the general tone. Perhaps some of the introduced characters weren’t clear enough. Maybe, maybe my characters shouldn’t be in Arsehold. And what happens after Arsehold?
Writing helps me think by creating a funnel through which I must focus. With all this mental flaying, I did a lot of writing about the novel in progress, addressing the concept, characters, story, plot, locations and settings, etc. Eventually, I took all the assembled material of the novel in progress, one hundred twenty-five thousand words, and began reading, editing, and revising, putting the story into the order that I think it’ll be in published form.
That helped. By the time I’d reached Arsehold (almost sounds like a song lyric — I can hear CCR doing stuck in Arsehold instead of Lodi), I’d discovered that the errors that I thought I was seeing weren’t there. It always scares me to think or say, hey, this is pretty damn good, about what I’m writing, but that’s what I concluded. Of course, it’s my work; if I didn’t think it was good, maybe I should be working on something else, right?
Anyway, I think I might get through Arsehold this week (knock on wood, he said, tapping the side of his head). Got my coffee; time to write like crazy, at least one more time.
Thursday’s Theme Music
“Ride My See-Saw” by the Moody Blues, 1968, thundered into my head this morning, partly due to writing, partly to my young ginger feline friend, Papi, aka Meep, aka Youngblade, aka the Ginger Blade.
With writing, it was recognition of how I go up and down about how I feel about the work in progress. It’s like being on a see-saw. With Papi, it was about my sleep getting interrupted. I was up and down, up and down, letting him in and out, in and out. Very floofrupting.
This video and song is a fun slice back to what we were when. Their slender, suited shapes and mod hair. That was rock, then, for a while. Well, no, that look wasn’t universal. I never adopted it. My hair was longer and less styled. (My wife loves the fact that I used to employ bobby pins to keep my hair out my way while engaged in baseball and football. For track and wrestling, I just let it flow.) While skinny, I wore huge bellbottoms and baggy tees. My favorite tee said, “Keep America Green, Grow Grass.” A marijuana leaf was prominent in the tee’s center.
Stay positive, test negative, wear a mask, and get plenty of sleep. Here’s the music. Enjoy.
Just A Cat
He’s laying at my feet,
soft, black, and sweet.
Some scoff, he’s just a cat.
He looks at me and purrs,
and I stroke his velvet fur
as some sniff, “Isn’t he a little fat?”
But I don’t care and I don’t shift,
not even for an itch,
because I like it, where he’s at.
Even if he is, as they all say.
really,
just a cat.
A Meeting of the Time Travelers’ Political Party
Sometime in the future.
“We’re still awaiting results. The past is changing, but the results are still coming in.”
“More importantly, we still exist.”
Murmurs of agreement went around the gathering; the general consensus before they’d begun this endeavor was the greatest proof that they’d succeeded in the past was that the party didn’t exist in the present.
A west coast reps was the Planning Committee Chair. Calling for order, she continued with her report. “We unleashed COVID-19 at the end of 2019. Sadly, but as predicted, this had the desired impact. Travel was reduced, leading to less armed conflicts as division between neo-fascists and the rest grew. Many refused to wear masks, as predicted.” She gave a nod toward another rep, who briefly beamed in acknowledgement. “The economy suffered as the working poor had their incomes cut by substantial amounts, leading to dissatisfaction that guaranteed Trump would lose the 2020 election. A vaccine was found, with limited impact, also as predicted. Likewise, Trump’s administration failed to plan ahead, as predicted.”
Rep. Bacon, Chair of Predictions, said, “They’re egregiously predictable, which makes for the situation of that time even more unfathomable. They’d consistently demonstrated no concern for human life or welfare, eschewing all principles in favor of increasing personal wealth among the wealthiest. It doesn’t make sense. It — “
“It is human nature,” said the Human Nature Chair. “Let’s not have another polemic.”
“Also predictable,” another rep called to a brief burst of chuckling.
The Planning Committee Chair resumed. “COVID-19 variants have been introduced as we speak. Given the failures to wear masks, plan for proper vaccination in advance, resistance to and distrust of vaccinations, and rallies and protests on behalf of the defeated president, a surge in cases and deaths will be seen in 2021.”
“But will that be enough?” another rep asked.
All eyes turned toward the Chair of Predictions. He pursed his lips. “We don’t know. It remains to be seen.” He put a hand up. “That’s not meant as a joke. If it doesn’t have the desired impact, well…we do have greater variants lined up.”
Thoughtful silence reigned for several seconds. “Is the asteroid still in play?” a rep asked.
The Chair of Predictions nodded. “Yes, but we’re holding onto it as our trump card.” He grimaced. “No joke intended, again.”
“So it won’t be deployed until…?”
“That’s right,” the Chair of Predictions said. “Twenty twenty-four.” He bleakly smiled. “If needed.”
Equifloofable
Equifloofable (floofinition) – Agreeable to all animals.
In use: “When it came to laps, finding equifloofable sitting arrangements for a household with five dogs, six cats, and four humans resulted in some crowded sofas, chairs, and laps.”
A Writing Conference Dream
Fun dream. Happy, satisfying, and rewarding.
I was at a huge writing conference somewhere. Fair weather and a seaside location favored us. Though staying onsite, I’d rented a silver Ford Mustang to run around.
We were there to write novels. The intriguing aspect was that after I’d finished my novel, the other participants were able to live it to test its authenticity. They announced themselves impressed with the results, which pleased me. Meanwhile, I was mentoring a young writer. He’d not been able to write a novel but did turn out a short story. I read and critiqued it for him. It was a good story, and I told him that I thought he could sell it.
I’d also been helping a young foreign student who was present. He couldn’t speak much English. I’d ended up in the role of helping him navigate the conference. In thanks, he came to me and offered me, “Noelle.” I replied, “Noelle,” with confusion. ‘Noelle’ turned out to be a chocolate candy. I accepted it with thanks and laughter, and then ate it with gusto. He also later gave me a small ceramic basket, exquisitely done. I don’t know where it came from. I accepted it but with protests that he didn’t need to be giving me all of these gifts. It’d been a pleasure helping him. Yet, he returned one more time to give me another “Noelle.” By the way, that spelling comes from the dream. I actually think it was a subtitle.
In high spirits, I prepared to leave. The maid service had packed everything up for me. I’d also been given another ceramic basket as a gift by someone else. Since I had two, I offered it to the woman. She was tremendously flattered and embarrassed, insisting that she couldn’t take it because it was too beautiful, and I’d already tipped her and had done too much for her. After a few minutes of going back and forth, I finally won.
Then it was to the car to leave. I offered others rides but none were going with me, so I left in the Mustang to drive to the airport, alone but happy.
*Photo is for illustration purposes only. Wasn’t exactly like this in the dream; it was better.
Wednesday’s Theme Music
Today is a repeat. Used this song a few years ago, but it’s a satisfying song and worthy of being the theme music today.
“Think” by Aretha Franklin came out in 1968. While I love that version, the Blues Brothers version (1980) is a tad stronger. According to Wikipedia, the thing about the movie version is that Aretha had to lip sync the song for the movie. Aretha isn’t used to lip syncing so a number of takes were required. The movie clip also features people no longer with us – John Belushi, Matt ‘Guitar’ Murphy, Carolyn Franklin, and Margaret Branch. Technology lets us enjoy them again.
The song arrived in me this morning while I was thinking about dreams. But after reflecting on its words, it’s a good song for this era of lies and insurrection. Think. Think about what you’re trying to do. Think about the consequences. Apparently, many of the insurrectionists didn’t think about the consequences of sedition, and didn’t take it well when they were arrested and put on no-fly lists. Should’ve thought about it. Of course, it starts with the outgoing Prez, who does little thinking about what’s going on beyond the little circle of his ego.
Stay positive, test negative, wear a mask, and enjoy the music! Cheers
Afloofcia Bridges
Afloofcia Bridges (floofinition) – Floofmerican singer and songwriter. Born and raised in North Carofloofa, she became known for a richly diverse style after moving to Nashville to forge a singing career.
In use: “Afloofcia Bridges’ biggest hit was a disco number, “I Love the Flooflife”, which reached number two in the Floofnited States on some charts, and the top ten in multiple other countries.”