Floofhole Surfers

Floofhole Surfers (floofinition) – American floof rock (flock) band formed in Floof Antonio, Flooxas, in 1981. Incorporating hardcore punk and psychedelic elements, they failed to achieve major success until the mid nineties. Their best known song is “Floofper”, which charted well in 1996.

Sunday’s Theme Music

It’s another feline inspiration today. Laying in bed, a cat had wedged himself between my arm and my ribs and was purring like mad. As I gradually awakened and stroked him into a higher purring gear, I chuckled to myself and muttered soto voce, “A cat is what I got.”

That line quickly morphed along the 1996 Sublime tune, “What I Got”. So here it is.

Floofump

Floofump (floofinition) – 1. A person who appears or is slovenly because they’ve been attending animals or indulging in an animal’s behavior to the detriment of their own appearance.

In use: “Catching sight of herself in the mirror, she realized she’d become a floofump, neglecting to dress (and clean the house — or brush her teeth and hair) because her newest cat was asleep on her lap.”

2. A noise someone emits when an animal unexpectedly jumps on them.

In use: “He was in the recliner, watching a ballgame, about to open a beer, when Harvey jumped up onto his belly, causing him to grunt, “Floofump,” in response.”

3. Slang or casual reference to an animal umpire.

In use: “The dogs and cats gave her no problems; it was the dog and the bird who forced her into the hated role of floofump, ruling their behavior out of bounds and sending one or the other into the penalty box.”

3 Floofs Down

3 Floofs Down (floofinition) – Floofmerican grunge floof rock (flock) band formed in Mississippi in 1996. They released five studio albums, with the first five charting well, including two albums which debuted at number one.

In use: “3 Floofs Down’s 2003 song, “Floof Without You”, reached number one in the United States, number two in Poland and Australia, and charted well in several other countries.

Saturday’s Theme Music

Van Halen is on my mind today.

Why not, right? He’s on many people’s mind. Eddie Van Halen, an amazing musician who focused on guitars, passed away this week. He was sixty-five, one year older than me.

He’s a contemporary, then. But he’s that contemporary who took the dreams and applied hard work and persistence, added to a huge well of talent, and made the big time.

Van Halen the group broke onto the radio music world where I resided in 1977. By then, I was twenty-one. Eddie was twenty-two. His songs — because, let’s face it, Eddie Van Halen was the primary force in that group, the largest defining difference with what he did with a guitar — spread across the AM and FM bandwidths, into MTV and movies, and across our world and lives.

It’s not a great reveal that Van Halen has provided the theme music for many days. Technology will keep Van Halen fresh and available to us, even if Eddie has passed away. Of all the songs available, I chose “Right Now” from 1992.

The Cannon Dream

A labyrinth of dreams finally culminated in the cannon segment. In it, after all the travails of the night’s previous dreams, I learned that they were looking for volunteers. These people would be shot out of a cannon and land in water somewhere halfway around the world. They couldn’t say where people would land.

The idea excited me. “Me! Me! Me!” I volunteered immediately. My wife and mother worried about where I would land, and how safe it was. I naively replied, “Well, they wouldn’t be doing it if it wasn’t safe.”

Which satisfied everyone. My wife was like, “Well, if that’s what you want to do.” Mom said (in that certain way that some mothers do), “Oh, you’ve already been chosen,” and dismissed it.

So it came to pass that without fanfare, I was fired from a cannon. I mean, there wasn’t any preparation, no drama, I was just literally fired from a cannon and then shooting through the sky.

From my POV, all sensations were absent. My eyes were closed. I thought, gee, I should be looking around because this is a unique event, but I didn’t. There wasn’t any wind, no sensation of movement at all. Then, I wondered if I should get ready to land. Should I point my feet before entering the water? If it’s deep water, will I go to the bottom and then need to spring back up?

I landed with a mild splash. The water wasn’t deep and was very warm and comfortable. Opening my eyes, I saw the water was a light aquarmarine. I wondered where I’d landed.

Others were there. The water was crowded. I marveled that I hadn’t landed on someone else. Most were naked young women swimming. Treading water, I reached up for support and discovered that it was the headboard for my bed.

I laughed. “Look, it’s my headboard. What are they chances?”

A naked woman nearby mocked me. “Yeah, what are the chances?”

“Seriously,” I said, but she swam off. I kept talking, though. “I’ve had this bed for fifteen years. What are the chances that I’d been shot halfway around the world and land in water and have my headboard right there?”

Nobody paid attention. They apparently weren’t impressed with any of it. That didn’t change anything; I’d enjoyed myself.

That dream segment ended. I eagerly carried on to the next.

Counting Floofs

Counting Floofs (floofintion) – Formed in 1991 in Floofley, Califloofia, Counting Floofs is an American floof rock (flock) band which has found success in the mainstream and alt music charts.

In use: “The Counting Floofs’ first song to find chart success, “Mr. Floof”, is also their highest charting song to date, achieving number one status in Floofnada and number five in the United Floofs of America.”

Mimi Update

Mimi is the neighbor’s beautiful little gray and white cat. She had a close call with a car the other day. Turned out, she’d been hit.

I wrote about her close call in Friday Fragments. I saw Mimi streak away and reported it to the neighbor. I’ve seen cats streak away from accidents only to succumb later.

Such was the case now. Mimi’s back end was injured. She dragged herself into the house and hid. My neighbors searched for her but couldn’t find her. Midnight that night, Mimi made a noise and she was found, along with the extents of her injuries. They rushed her to care.

Mimi could be saved. The price would be high. Her injuries were extensive, and the quality of life and her future would be very uncertain. Grieving at 2:30 AM, the people made the decision they thought best for themselves and their cat.

Coronavirus restrictions were broken as the vet allowed them to say good-bye.

It was the humane thing to do.

Friday Fragments

  1. People tell me how skinny I’ve become. Interesting, because I weigh just seven pounds less than two years ago. What I’ve pieced together, based on history and what doctors told me, is that my prostrate gland had become severely enlarged. It blocked my bladder, eventually causing a medical emergency because I couldn’t void myself. My little old one- hundred ml bladder had eleven hundred ml of piss in it, according to the staff when I arrived that morning in the ER. According to my doc when he recounted it later, I was grossly distended. So, no, it wasn’t weight; I was full of piss. Once that was all relieved, and my prostate has shrunk some, my organs are no longer displaced, and no longer have an abdomen that sticks out like a car bumper.
  2. You can read about my 2019 troubles in Peckerville here.
  3. My prostate/bladder experience reaffirmed the need to not look at everyone through the same lenses. They may look overweight, but it could be something else completely.
  4. I’m also looking at my food differently. I used to consider sugars, fat, and content whenever I made a food selection. We’ve moved sharply toward organic and natural food in the past fifteen years. I was diagnosed with high blood pressure (hypertension) last year. I’m on meds for it. I now check sodium content in food and keep it down. I’m staggered by how much sodium is used in modern processed food. It’s eye opening, and not in a good way. The Trader Joe’s foods that I used to enjoy are completely unacceptable.
  5. Speaking of looking at things differently, the neighbor’s cat was almost done in by a car the other day, right before my eyes. Mimi, a gorgeous little grey and white kitty, was sitting on the curb across the street. A pedestrian was chatting with her. He later said, though, another cat was distracting Mimi. A car came rushing up the street. Mimi decided then to cross.
  6. Cats don’t view the world as we do. They have a harder time discerning a car forty feet away, traveling at a speed of thirty miles per hour, coming at them.
  7. The car brakes to a halt with a sharp screech of tires. Mimi appears safe. She streaks home. All are concerned. I knock on the neighbor’s door and tell her what happened and where Mimi went. I haven’t seen Mimi or neighbor since. It worries me, but I think if something bad happened, my neighbor would come and tell me. That’s how she is.
  8. We were out shopping Tuesday. Had to renew the car registration in Medford, so we thought we’d shop and gas up the car at the same time. All went well but I realized, I don’t really miss people during this pandemic/stay-at-home era. I miss my routines. Yes, I miss having beers with friends or going dancing, and traveling, but it’s not about missing the people as much as doing things other than what I’m doing. I’ve always known I’m not a social person. I don’t know how much of this to assign to what, personality wise. In other words, how much is due to my genetic makeup, and how much of it is a socialization thingy?
  9. We’re seriously processing moving out of state, probably heading east. Well, come on, we live in Oregon; we can’t go south to California. Going north to Washington has been addressed, but it doesn’t seem feasible.
  10. Looking at house photos online to fill in an idea of what housing would be like, I’m fascinated by the difference in home décor between the Pacific northwest, and Ohio/Pennsylvania, where we’re looking. We’ve always been aware of the differences in clothing fashion between different parts of the country. There are also usually differences attributable to age and economic straits. And, visiting family, yes, I’ve also noticed it when I visit their homes. So much viewing, I suppose, has driven the disparity more deeply into me.
  11. The other thing is about how housing styles have changed through the decades. Back in the forties, fifties, and sixties, (I don’t know about other decades, because I don’t see houses from other times), homes seemed to mostly form follow function. Small box houses. Little character is evidenced outside. The yards are large, the rooms are small, especially bathrooms.
  12. Later, though, the houses grow more and more about exterior style. While the boxes were efficient but less attractive, the newer houses become more inefficient in their interiors, with lots of wasted space or strange spaces. Yards are smaller, though all of the yards on the listings I check are larger than the yards out here. I have several friends who are retired or practicing architects. I’d love to talk to them about evolving house designs. One was on the forefront of tiny houses and sustainable living, so I really want to get her take.
  13. We have three firm rules for our new place, wherever we settle. One, no mortgages. Paying in cash limits our choices (we don’t want to sink all of our cash into a house, right?), but we don’t want a mortgage. Two, no HOAs. They’ve burned us twice; never again. I think they’re one of the more ridiculous modern contrivances. Three, we need a little space. We just don’t like living on top of other people. When we first move back, we will be renting, of course. We’ve done this before. Although we haven’t moved in fourteen years, I was in the military for twenty years, as was my father before me. I’ve moved a lot during my lifetime.
  14. I’m pretty convinced we need to move. Not looking forward to it, but… But years of smoky summers and droughts, water restrictions, and wildfires have worn us down. Sad, because Ashland, Oregon, and the region are beautiful and wonderful in multiple ways. The negatives, though, have just added up. Given the trends of the previous ten years and the forecasts and models, we only see it getting worse.

Have a good day. Wear your masks, please. Be safe. Cheers

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