Schrödinger’s Puzzle

Puzzle number five (the Casablanca movie poster) has become Schrödinger’s puzzle for me. With such limited colors (mostly sepia, brown, lighter brown, darker brown, tan, and beige) and ill-defined shapes, it’s a plodding process of trying pieces. Hence, Schrödinger’s puzzle: will this piece fit? You don’t know until it try, it might or might not, hence it has two states at once.

You could argue that every puzzle is like this; I disagree. This one has a special frustration to it. We almost have half done. We’ve been working on it for twelve days. The others were done by now (or some it seems). This one is so challenging that getting two pieces in feels like a triumph, so we walk away, savoring the victory, knowing more remains.

Will it ever be finished? Ask Schrödinger.

The Cake Dream

Another anxiety dream, this one featuring cake.

Something had happened in the dream previous to this moment but its pieces are like sand in the wind. With the wind calming, I found myself in another place.

A younger version of me entered a hotel ballroom. Brightly lit chandeliers hung over the  gathering. Everyone, including were well-dressed, with most (including me) wearing a black tuxedo with black tie.

Everyone milled around, as if waiting for an event to start. Lost when I first entered, I slipped to one side to get out of the way and figure out what was going on. Multiple tables were set with tablecloths and centerpieces featuring burning candles. On either end were tables. Seeing something on those tables, I went to them.

The tables were full of elaborate cakes. Seeing them, I became ravenous. I wanted a piece of cake but there weren’t plates, knives, or forks. How was I supposed to get a piece of cake?

Feeling nervous, I decided that I was going to leave. As I began turning, a woman in a shimmering silver gown approached me and announced, “There you are.” I thought she might someone else and tried stepping out of her way, but it was clear that she meant me. Even as she changed course and addressed me, I backpedaled, almost banging into the table full of cakes. God, what if I knock them all over, I worried, almost seeing the mess that it would make.

With the woman coming to me, others were coming my way, too. The woman was talking but I couldn’t comprehend what she was saying. As she reached me, she took my arm in hers and asked, “What cake would you like?”

I said, “I don’t know, they all look good, but I don’t see any plates.” I was looking for plates, knives, and forks, and then, with surprise, saw that they were on the table. As I mused, how did I miss that, thinking they weren’t they before, the woman said, “It’s all for you. Take whatever cake you want.”

Distrustful of her (and leery of more people) (mostly men in tuxes crowding around me), I told her, “I think I need to go.” As I disengaged myself from the woman, a tall man stepped up and held out a plate of cake to me. “Just take the cake,” he said in a gentle voice.

I laughed because I thought he said, “This takes the cake,” but I was also confused because I didn’t know what he meant. Still holding the cake toward me, he said, “The cake is yours. Take the cake.”

The dream ended.

Good Floofmaritan

Good Floofmaritan (floofinition) – 1. An animal who assists other animals or people.

In use: “Many animals are being employed as Good Floofmaritans, service animals which help people cope with their shortcomings and difficulties.”

In use: “Grandpa Cat, as he was known, was an old street fighting tom who’d finally found a home, but surprised everyone with his Good Floofmaritan side when he helped orphaned kittens adjust by calming, comforting, and grooming them.”

2. “People who help animals.”

In use: “The Internet has helped raise the awareness about animals and their plights, resulting in the growth of many Good Floofmaritan organizations that take in orphaned and abused animals, help them recover, and find them permanent homes.”

3. A parable about an animal who helped other animals and people.

In use: “Floof 10:25-37 tells the Parable of the Good Floofmaritan, a lion who came upon an injured man stayed with the man, bringing him food and warming and protecting him for three days, until help arrive.”

Today’s Theme Music

“Creep” by Radiohead (1992) has flooded my stream this morning. Its presence was prompted by the query, “What the hell am I doing here?” when I paused in the kitchen, lost in what I was about to do. I then went through the mental checklist (fed the cats, let them out, let them in, fed them again, peed — oh, yeah, coffee.)

Many people dislike “Creep”, thinking it depressing. It is depressing. But I think its chorus captures what too many people sometimes experience:

But I’m a creep
I’m a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here

h/t to

I have felt like these words from time to time (yes, alcohol was involved) but it’s been a long while for me. Hope it’s been a long while for you, too, or better, that you’ve never endured that stream of thought.



Blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: