FTF (Faster Than Floof)

FTF (Faster Than Floof) (floofinition) – The hypothesis that only non-humans can travel at speeds faster than the speed of light. The special theory of floofactivity implies that only quantum animals (such as housepets like cats and dogs) can reach such speeds, doing so almost instantaneously, allowing them to apparently simultaneously occupy more than one place.

In use: “Anyone with pets know that many are capable of FTF; just open a can and watch them arrive.”


Pobrefloof (floofinition) – Poor animal.

In use: “Wanting to go for a walk but being denied, the dog sulked with his leash in his mouth. “Pobrefloof,” she said, walking by. “I’ll walk you before I leave, honey, but I can’t now, I’m not dressed yet.” Sighing, the dog dropped the leash.”


Friday’s Theme Music

This one comes from NFL’s Thursday Night Football (Dallas Cowboys at Chicago Bears). They played the last part of a song as they went to commercial break. I sang along and then thought, what’s that song? It took me about twenty seconds to come up with song, “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” by Simple Minds (1985), a song from The Breakfast Club.¬†Why were they using it on Fox TNF? Seems like a strange choice, but here we are.


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