Home Alone (Lonely). Ankle-Deep In Pizza.

Oh, sure; he enjoys his “alone time” at home amid the fading green hills while His Beloved is away, being all beachy and sisterly, watching the gulls instead of the crows, hearing the tides instead of the rustle of dead leaves.

But it doesn’t take him long to realize that, these days, he already spends too much time alone and only a total nidiot would pass up the chance to be with her every weekend, even if it’s at Sisterly Beach, listening to the surfy static and the screamy seagulls.

And, yes, it’s true that she went out of her way to make sure he had a fridgeful of healthy food before she left but, well, even a nidiot knows there’s no solo food like a large special Village Pizza pizza, and that a large special Village Pizza pizza will provide at least 3…