The Truth About Beer

It’s been some time since I’ve written about the invention of beer and the truth about why it exists.

Michael Quirk provided me with this theory. Michael was the originator of our weekly beer gathering. The group is composed of retired scientists, engineers and doctors to discuss science and technology. Michael himself, now deceased, was a retired Army light colonel. He’d served in Vietnam as a helicopter pilot, surviving two tours. After that, he’d become an artillery officer and ended up programming specific artillery systems that were being introduced. He eventually ended up as a globally sought subject expert on the matter. After retiring from the Army, he was hired as a consultant by DARPA so he could keep working on and advising about the artillery program. His daughter is an Air Force colonel who is now a deputy base commander.

I met Michael through an art museum fundraiser. His wife and my wife went to the same exercise class at the local Y. Several of these wives enjoyed each other’s company. It was contrived we should all go to this fundraiser and share a table. Naturally, the wives socialized, leaving the men alone.

Michael and I both enjoyed science fiction, so we chatted about that. He then told me about the weekly beer group and invited me to join. Not having much education and not being a scientist, engineer or doctor, I declined, and told him that’s why. “But we drink beer,” he explained. “You drink beer, don’t you?”

“Yes, but — ”

Nothing else mattered to Michael. I drink beer, so I should join. I finally agreed just to shut him up.

I started going, and the time became something I looked forward to, largely because I was very fond of Michael. It was during one of those weekly beer gatherings that he told me about his theory regarding the invention of beer. Noting that beer had been invented about eleven thousand years ago, he claimed that women invented it.

Naturally, I was curious. “Women invented beer?”

“Yes, they invented beer to control men.”

“I see…. Why?”

“Because women are aliens who came to Earth eleven thousand years ago. They invented beer to control men.” Michael went on to cite the chromosome difference as evidence that women are not humans like men. Besides, they think so differently.

His theory had a lot of problems to me, beginning with, if they were aliens and so advanced they could travel to Earth and invent beer eleven thousand years ago, what the hell have they been doing since then? Also, what happened to the original human women? And, why….?

It was all very tongue-in-cheek. Michael passed away at the beginning of 2015. I still go to the beer group once in a while, just to have a beer. We always toast Q at the beginning.

Sometimes, I remind the others how beer was invented.


There were sounds.

Tilting an ear toward the sounds he cracked one eye open.

A touch on his belly caused him to open his eye more and lift his head.

He saw it was a hand and knew who it belonged to.

Comforted, he purred his appreciation, flexed his paws and resumed his snooze.

Why You’re Not You When You’re Not Writing

Truth for me. When I’m not permitted to write or feel that my writing time/space continuum has been impaired, I feel like I’m suffering. That feeling of fulfilling my life’s purpose as I’m typing…yes. When it’s right, it’s sublime. Even when it’s bad, it’s very, very good.

A Writer's Path

writing tea

by Meg Dowell

For the first week of 2017, because of the new year, I did not write any articles. Clients either weren’t ready to assign them yet or they were having me work on other projects (because being a content creator means you get to write marketing emails too).

For many of you, this probably doesn’t sound like that big a deal. But you have to understand that the nature of my work resulted in me writing over 500 articles last year – that doesn’t include these blog posts. I write articles. It is what people pay me to do. And having already taken a week off of work between the Christmas and New Year’s holidays, enduring another week without producing an article was like going without food: it was unbearable.

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Today’s Theme Music

This song – ‘Right Place Wrong Time’ by Doctor John – strikes me as the perfect theme music for today’s meanderings.

The song came out in 1973, the year before I graduated high school. The album, ‘In the Right Place’, quickly fell into part of the regular rotation of my listening habits as I drove about in my 1965 Mercury Comet sedan. I feel like I’ve been born in the wrong era although the more cynical slice of me comments, “You’d probably feel like that in whatever era you’re in.” True.

I always enjoy this particular song’s funkiness. The Meters back him up, with Art Neville on organ, Leo Nocentelli on guitar, bass performed by George Porter, Jr, and Ziggy Modelisti on drums. Dave Spinozza is that guitar solo in the middle. Doctor John’s lyrics and style convey the essence of just feeling like I’m out of sync and don’t really belong anywhere in this era.

I been in the right place but it must have been the wrong time
I’d have said the right thing but I must have used the wrong line
I been in the right trip but I must have used the wrong car
My head was in a bad place and I’m wondering what it’s good for
I been the right place but it must have been the wrong time
My head was in a bad place but I’m having such a good time

I been running trying to get hung up in my mind
Got to give myself a good talking-to this time
Just need a little brain salad surgery
Got to cure my insecurity

Perfect for today.

h/t to Lyrics Mode.

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