Month: July 2016

Beering

I’ve decided beering is my new verb.

Why not? We once had a company named Google. It was and is, a company with a search engine.

People loved searching with Google. Remember, this was a different era, what, almost eight years ago? Google and the Internet were very different then.

People loved searching with Google so much that they would say, “Search for that on Google.” Go ahead, you can search for that on Google. Then folks just began saying, “Google that for me,” and we all understood that meant to perform a search using Google.

So I’m embracing beering in a similar way. It used to be I’d say, “I’m going to have a drink,” or “I’m going to drink a beer.” It’s easier and saves time for me to just state, “I’m beering.” For variety, I could state, “I’m aleing,” or, “I’m portering.”

And now, I’m toileting. But first, let me tell you, auto-correct made this really difficult to type.

The computer doesn’t like ‘beering’.

 

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Bridge to Nowhere

Yesterday was a dark day but not of my usual sort. Pain of the exaggerated ‘don’t bother me, I’m dying’ breed began around the Sub-occipital muscles and stampeded my skull and my brain’s right hemisphere. Being the whiner I am, I wasn’t happy.

Suffering computer and writing withdrawal contributed to my low tolerance for pain. Hey, I’m STRESSED OUT! Writing on the old Thinkpad reminds me of traveling on an old coal fed steam locomotive. Lot of chug-chug-chug action to open windows, or even change words or write more than thirty characters in Word. Chug-chug-chug. I write in snapshots so I’ll have parallel scenes in development, requiring me to jump between docs. Chug-chug-chug. Looking up something on the intertubes…chug…chug…  Chug.  Chug chug chuuuuggg. Chuuuuugggggggggggg. The computer then paused, let out a gasp and wiped its screen, telling me, “Whoo, this is tough hauling. All up hill to get to the good data.”

So, while back at home, logging changes made and attempting more fixes, I sat back in the office chair, closed my eyes…and napped.

I dreamed during the nap. I was walking on gray asphalt. It was sunny and hot. My shadow was about fifteen degrees off true. Right was part of a bridge’s cement structure. Painted white, it was last touched up a decade or more past and its facade was worn.

All I saw was my shadow, my feet, the asphalt and the cement. Then I drew near the bridge’s end. Ahead was the gravelly dirt shoulder with heavy green weeds and brambles. I stepped off the bridge. While doing so, I looked down and saw I was stepping into a hole between the bridge and shoulder. I fell off into nothing.

Blackness rose before fear shook me awake. Telling my wife about it, she noted the bridge and it’s possible significance, and the fact that I was walking into the unknown, that I didn’t know it, and I was frightened. Yeah, but…isn’t the  future unknown? So aren’t I always walking into the unknown?

So, no simple interpretation arose, but my headache was gone, and that was worth the dream by itself.

 

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Chemicalize Me

Turn off the word corrections

process me with dna

gmo me in the mall

market me in the home

 

spin the spins that I hear

pour the sugar into my mouth

shoot me up with immortality

Skin me with spf

 

plop me down on a couch

arm me against death

warn me against settling

And point me toward a pokemon

 

give me some credit

I’m streaming 5G

dancing while I shop

 

winter is coming

And you know nothing,

can you hear me now?

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I’m Fine

I’m fine

Just countin days till I die

Tryin to dredge up a will to survive

veggin on tv scenes

I’m fine

Wishin death would come

Permittin me to end this run

sleepin with my eyes open

I’m fine

Talkin to my machines

Because they’re the only ones who seem to seem

to care about what I say

 

So when you ask how r u? 🙂

I don’t care if you smile and walk away

Bcuz we both know what I’ll say

 

I’m fine

 

Words from the the spectrum’s dark side

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The Power of Flash Fiction

Definitely checking this out. Love flash fiction but I’m too unwieldy with my words, so maybe I can gain insights while learning and being entertained.

gridleyfires's avatarGridley Fires- The Blog

UnknownFlashes of War, by Katey Schultz

Sadly, there’s a lot to write about war in recent years, and there’s sameness to much of what’s written about it, whether fiction of non-fiction. The horror of combat, in which one’s mortality is constantly at the fore. The comradeship between combatants, something hopelessly misunderstood by most readers. And the alienation of combatants upon their return home, home a reality that doesn’t seem as real as that within a war theater.

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Katey Schultz writes of these tropes, but she does it with deep insights into the humanity of those involved. Her stories here are set in Afghanistan, Iraq, or “back in the world” today’s soldiers left to fight its generation’s war. Never one-sided, her stories are sketches of these people, the American combatants, the Iraqi and Afghani civilians, the families back home in the U.S., all of whom cope with the trials of trying to…

View original post 65 more words

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7 Reasons Why You Should Outline Your Novel DURING Revision

This is exactly the process I’ve evolved, and for the reasons given. While I’m an organic, feel it and follow writer, structure and focus are critical needs for me while I’m editing and revising. The outline isn’t fancy, and varies in length and complexity, depending on the scope of the novel, but it’s a very useful guide and reference.

theryanlanz's avatarRyan Lanz

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by Kelsie Engen

Today we’re going to talk about how to approach the next revision step: developmental edits. Basically this means addressing the major, structural issues of your WIP before moving on to the minor things.

This step comes after you’ve read your first draft, made some comments or jotted down ideas.

Of course, whether you’ve merely jotted down ideas, or come up with new pacing suggestions, or discovered some character motivations, etc., at this point you should create a new outline.

View original post 894 more words

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When Does Food Go Bad?

First, we must consider, what do we mean when we say Food has ‘gone bad’?

Short of Food killing other Food or leaping out of the refrigerator or cupboard with weapons in their hands or explosives strapped around its jar or box, it’s often difficult to determine when Food has gone bad. Some will consider Food bad much more quickly than others, refusing to eat it because it’s ‘gone bad’, while others, particularly bachelors, will dismiss claims Food has gone bad and eat him anyway. This is often true with Food like Pizza, but not Beer and Wine. When Beer goes bad, it becomes skunky, with a foul taste, or flat. Wine takes on a sour, bitter tone that reminds you of Bitter Ben.

Milk, on the other hand, doesn’t fake it when it goes bad. Beware of Milk that has gone bad. Milk that goes bad can become violent, even explosive, with lingering results.

Also watch out for Fish and Meat that has gone bad. You know what I mean.

Food can go bad for many reasons. Food sometimes goes bad as an acting out mechanism when he’s not getting the attention he thinks he needs or deserves. Sometimes Food isn’t happy with his home life, or he gets left out of activities, locked up and forgotten. He might go bad because of his environment. The temperature might be too low, permitting low life bacteria to affect Food. Or Food is shut up with undesirables who put out gases, pressuring Food to spoil.

But that is the nurturing aspect of Food going bad. Sometimes Food goes bad because he was born bad, co-existing with other materials that negatively affects Food, like when Food wasn’t washed properly after he was picked. Personal hygiene is very important to help keep Food from going bad.

When Food goes bad is like many problems throughout human existence, with multiple facets to consider for dealing with the situation. Constant monitoring and early detection is important to save Food. Sometimes bad Food can be saved by re-purposing it. Some Food can be frozen and used later when they go start going bad. The thing to remember is that every Food is unique, and what you learn about one Food may not apply to other Foods. If in doubt about whether Food has gone bad, ask a cat. If a cat walks away from it, the Food has probably gone bad.

Cats just don’t tolerate bad food. Just ask any cat person.

Note: no food was harmed while I wrote this post, but several cats were annoyed and disappointed. Now they want something else that isn’t ‘Food gone bad’.

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I gotta do something about

this manuscript

that backyard

these weeds

this belly

that cat

these gutters

this computer

that computer

these computers

this junk

that rattle

these books

this garage

that room

these bills

this worry

that concern

these problems

 

 

“I gotta do something about….”

It’s my life’s expression.

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“I’m hungry”

“I’m hungry”, I type, and click on the magnifying glass.

“I have found growing vegetables can help  if you’re hungry.”

“If you’re hungry, the problem might be that you haven’t had anything to eat. Check to see if you’ve had something to eat recently.”

“Hungry is a country in Europe.”

“Hunger can be caused by not eating a sufficient amount of food. To fix this, you can grow food, go hunting, or go shopping. Let me know how it turns out.”

“Sign this petition to urge President Obama to end hunger in America NOW.”

“Check listings to see when The Hunger Games are playing.”

“Click here to watch The Hunger on your computer right now!”

“Many people who are hungry have found this website and its diets to be helpful.”

“Get deals on hungry at Overstocked.com.”

Those are satire answers to a simple statement to illuminate how I feel while searching for help on the net. Companies have mostly abdicated responsibility, except where they’ve realized that they can charge you to help you and pad their profits. If you do not pay for help, you’re left to the forums, and the forums give advice, like above, satirized as a response to the input, “I’m hungry.” They don’t address the issues but smather suggestions that might or not relate to your query except in the basest or broadest manner.

Looking for why I’m having Windows 7 issues that result in an ever spinning hard drive that sucks responsiveness out of the system, I’m constantly urged to look for malware, update drivers, or turn off my security software. None of them actually provide intelligent tools for why the hard drive keeps running, especially after all of those issues have already been done and eliminated. Using the computer manufacturer’s tools and windows tool, I’ve confirmed that there’s no hardware issues. And it’s depressing, because I thought, if there is a hardware problem, at least  I’ll know what’s wrong. But I can’t find the cause. Don’t tell me to update because I already have.

And now I’m hungry. I can either, eat leftover kibble the cats didn’t finish, rummage through the kitchen pantry and refrigerator, or root around the front yard for bugs.

Or, like the cats, wait for someone else to take care of me and offer me a better solution.

 

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To Beer, or Not to Beer

Tonight is beer night, to be lowbrow. It’s actually our social club where we discuss politics, literature and science, but we do drink beer.

Don’t know if I’ll go or not. My wife scored a ticket to The Wiz and is going with a friend, leaving me to ponder what I’ll do this eve.

As Mrs Trump said, “Ask not what I can do for a beer, but what a beer can do for me.” She was also famous for saying, “I never met a beer I didn’t like.”

But other things are possible for the night. The baristas called me over as I was leaving the coffee shop yesterday. “Look what we made ourselves. Affogato.”

“Love it.” Envy turned my eyes green. “I go to the Growler Guys for mine. They make a mean one.”

“Bring in ice cream, and we’ll make you one,” Meghan said.

“But they already have ice cream at the Growler Guys, so…. Do you two drink beer?” They’re young and I’m not certain they’re old enough. Yes, both answered, so I continued, “Growler Guys make a delicious porter float, ice cream in a chocolate infused porter.”

“I don’t like porter or dark beers,” Shannon said, “I like IPAs, but I could probably do a porter float, if I let the ice cream melt and stir it all up together.”

“Which is the correct way to enjoy,” I answered. Customers arrived so I headed out, but now I’m thinking, maybe I’ll go by the Growler Guys tonight.

 

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