– walk –
this way (talk this way)
the talk
like a man
like an Egyptian
the long
home
the lonely
i do the
of life
without a
-er
Yet
Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
– walk –
this way (talk this way)
the talk
like a man
like an Egyptian
the long
home
the lonely
i do the
of life
without a
-er
Yet
One movement has ended. Another is to begin.
I pause here to consider the movement that’s finished, reviewing the highlights. There are many. Look for flaws and shortcomings. Relieved to find nothing niggles. Worry that I’m blind to the faults. Sigh and dismiss it. Hope I’m wrong.
I sit in the space between the movements, looking back, looking forward. Back draws me with pleasure. It’s a job done, a project accomplished, an achievement – a novel written, revised, edited, polished – and I felt fulfilled while working on it. No matter whether others read and enjoy it, I have read and enjoyed it. More, I’m always amazed by the process of turning over points, asking what if and why, and planning a move.
But writing a novel, like many things, twists in unexpected ways. Characters take over and lead down surprising paths. Reaching the end, asking now what, I ask what if and why, plan the next move, and something happens and the writing train speeds on.
I’m bemused sometimes when people tell me they’ve attempted to write a novel and reached a point where they weren’t sure what to do next. Don’t know what the characters will do. So they’ve stopped.
Well, of course. That happens all the time to me, probably once a week. That kind of road block must be navigated. I do so in multiple ways. Read, edit and revise what’s already written. Think about the ending and what’s been unresolved, what’s blossoming. Walk and consider my life and how the character(s) would behave if my life was their life. Put myself into their life (in the novel) and consider what I would do, if I were them, and why that’s not what they would do. I read other books. Something recommended to me by others. Or mind candy, a page turner without much depth. Or an award winner. Or a new finding by a favorite author. Or blogs and articles. I walk, eat, think, sleep. Whatever. What I don’t do is worry about being paused. That’s all the roadblock is, a pause. If I think of it like taking a road trip, this is heavy traffic, or construction, just something that must take place and be passed before the trip resumes.
Ahead, after this interlude, I see the challenge of re-engaging the next book, because this is the editing phase for it (although it’s been edited, revised and polished before), and the insecurities and worries that always accompany re-visiting my writing, that the visit will reveal all the flaws and shortcomings, that the characters will be flat, the settings empty, the story silly and the novel will be a mess. That’s not how I remember it, but I was reading the other day that memories aren’t actually that efficient, that small details are recalled and we build the rest into something that works for us.
Funny to read and reflect on that item about memory. The book to be edited is all about memory (and, naturally, perceptions, and competing, conflicting perceptions, and how reality is constructed and maintained). Most of my books are about these things. Memories inform characters and readers, shaping experiences and expectations. My characters are like me, flawed and searching, struggling to grasp what happened and what’s going on, trying to forge a way forward. Their odds against them are always much larger than my odds, and their risks are greater – life, death, reality….
So I’ll go as usual to my writing place, the physical one first, the coffee shop. Find a table and get my drink. Then I’ll go to my writing place, the mental one, and move into the editing department. Then I’ll open the manuscript on my computer.
Then I’ll play games. Surf the net. Post to FB. Read the news. Think about other things. Twenty, thirty minutes will pass. Then I’ll say, okay. Enough. Let’s go. Get to work. Do what needs to be done.
And then I’ll begin.
But right now, I’m just going to sit in the moment.
I ended up a year or so with a magazine subscription to The American Scholar. (It’s published by Phi Beta Kappa; I had nowhere near that academic track record, thus I sometimes …
Source: Abstractions and Real Life
I finished editing Road Lessons with Savanna, a mystery, the second in the series. Nothing jumped out to trigger anxiety and panic. I enjoyed the read, finding some typos, some grammatical errors, some minor pacing issues.
Done, and I’m pleased. I enjoyed the final page, laughing to myself here in the coffee shop, thinking of others reading it and wondering, “What?” Makes me laugh just to type that sentence.
Once upon a time, I finished writing a novel and was ecstatic that I’d completed it. But now, it’s just another novel done, the end of an enjoyable project. Of course, as I read it, the next novel in the series continued its organic growth in me. But I want to publish this one and go on to Everything Not Known, the science fiction epic. It’s been written but requires editing. Then I’ll pick up the third novel so that initial trilogy will be complete. Other novels in the Lessons with Savanna series are circling my cerebral cortex, but there are other projects that are already engaged and in progress, and I want to go on with them.
And so it goes, a fun, satisfying moment in my life, good-bye and hello.
Today is June 14th, Flag Day in America, and I’m a little disappointed.
This is when the Second Continental Congress, in 1777, adopted our red, white and blue national flag. Flags are flying to celebrate, but come on, what kind of American holiday is this? Where are the chocolates we buy and present to one another to show our patriotism? There are no Hershey’s Kisses in red, white and blue foil. No one is saying, “Come on over, we’ve having a Flag Day barbecue.” NASCAR isn’t running a Flag Day 500 sponsored by (insert your sponsor here). Where are the radio ads promoting gigantic Flag Day sales at JC Penny’s, Sears, Walmart, Target, Lowes or Home Depot?
Children aren’t giddy with pleasure that today is Flag Day. Nobody is walking around, pausing to ask, “Are you ready for the holiday? Do you have any special plans for Flag Day?” There’s not a single red, white and blue marshmallow peep for sale anywhere to honor this holiday, no restaurants broadcasting, “Bring the family in for Flag Day. Show us your flag and receive ten percent off.” Fireworks are missing, and there are no parades. I didn’t see Flag Day cakes in the bakeries, or even brownies, cupcakes or cookies.
Really, America, where is your marketing sense? You’re missing out on another area for profit, another reason to celebrate being American with gifts, food, parties and booze. Look at what you’ve done with Christmas, President’s Day, Valentine’s Day, Memorial Day, Father and Mother’s Days, the Fourth of July, Labor Day, Halloween, and Thanksgiving, along with birthdays and graduations. Here is a holiday passing you right by without any show of patriotic consumerism and hedonism.
I am so disappointed.
Is it?
Me?
Is it you?
Is it us?
Is it our system?
Is it America?
Is it ‘them’,
or ‘their ways’?
Is it the times
We live in
And the lack of morality,
The fast paced world,
Disenfranchisement and bitterness,
Sexual orientation and preference,
Race, color, nationality and religion?
Or is it?
Just
You?
There was a black widow scare the other night. My wife, finishing her bath and wrapped in a towel, called out for me with the warning, “There’s a black widow in the bathroom. Hurry, it’s running.”
So I ran. Grabbing a small plastic food storage container from the kitchen, I rushed down the hall. Followed by my wife, the spider had left the bathroom and was heading down the hall toward the guest room.
I took up pursuit. Closing as the spider reached the guest room carpet, I made a move to capture him. Seeing me coming, the spider accelerated across the floor as my wife said, “Get it, it’s getting away.”
After two attempts, I trapped it in the plastic. It ran in a circle, trying to escape as I studied it. “I don’t think this is a black widow. It’s not shiny and black enough, and doesn’t have that exaggerated shape.” I couldn’t see its underside.
My wife agreed. “What do you want me to do with him?” I asked. “Set him free outside?”
Yes.
I was a little reluctant. He’s clearly a house spider, hence his location, and I knew the yard was spider rich. A black widow lives in the corner of the front porch. She only comes out at night but turn on the light at midnight, and there she is, tensing and waiting.
The spider policy is a no kill, relocation thing. That means we have a lot of spiders around the house. With spiders are webs. I went about yesterday cleaning off all the webby eaves, corners and bushes. The process is to look for a spider in the web, give warning that the web will be removed so the spider has time to leave, and then clean away the web. Probably sixty percent of the webs are vacant, dusty with debris. Spiders built them and perished, or decided they didn’t like the location and moved away.
So many webs were evident yesterday. After 30 minutes of cleaning, I was relatively satisfied and put the broom away. Leaving the garage, I looked up —
And there was another.
I swear it wasn’t there before.
But —
I was done for the day. After a few minutes of contemplating the web and the policy, I headed for the garbage cans. Tomorrow was trash day. Time for other matters.
No spiders were harmed before or after this story. At least not by me. Now, the cats are a whole other matter. They are not as spider tolerant.
But they do leave those black widows alone.
A morning smile from sevencatsandcounting
It’s impolite to stare at a pretty lady who has momentarily forgotten to put her tongue back in her mouth.
–Stella
no fear
no doubt
no anger
no resentment
no bitterness
no hatred
no frustration
no pessimism
no sickness
no illness
no disease
no poverty
no starvation
no war
no killing
no apathy
‘UNIMAGINABLE’
The newspaper headline is about the Orlando mass murder in a night club. Fifty people are dead, killed by one person with an automatic weapon designed and manufactured to kill people in mass. It’s disgusting that they print that this is ‘unimaginable’. The proper headline is ‘INEVITABLE’.
Inhabitants of most of the modern world expected another mass murder record in the United States, another high count of victims gunned down by someone out to make a statement, someone who believes violence is the answer. If you carry that logic further, then you might think, more violence is a better answer. That’s apparently the NRA’s solution. More guns and more violence, and we’ll all be better.
It’s bullshit, but it’s not unimaginable. It was a matter of time. As racing cars go faster, as the wealthiest become wealthier, so will there be more and larger mass killings with automatic weapons in the United States. Why not? What policies have changed that would circumvent new bloody records from being set?
I’m a fiction writer. I can imagine killing and being a mass killer without actually being a killer, but just by being a cold, hard thinker. Learn from what other mass killers have done. Study the lessons learned. Decide on your course of action and put regrets aside. Segregate and compartmentalize your emotions. Rationalize your decision. Deal with the ramifications that you are going to kill and you will probably die. Pick your location, select your weapons, load up, block doors if you can, and go in and indiscriminately kill.
The headlines should be ‘SICKENING’. ‘DISGUSTING’. ‘REVOLTING’. ‘HEARTBREAKING’.
But never unimaginable, because, without making changes — and America is loathe to make changes about gun laws and automatic weapons, because there’s too much fear and profit in them, too much fraudulent machismo, too much shallow bravado and thin patriotism — more headlines about mass killings will be published.
Unimaginable? No, the bar has been raised, 50 dead at this count, more critically wounded. Unimaginable? No, this will be another event that we’ll look back upon when the count goes higher again, another glance back to mourn the dead and increasing violence, all without doing a damn thing.
That’s what’s really ‘UNIMAGINABLE’.