The Swat

I’m on my knees, typing at my desk.

The cat is asleep on my chair.

It wasn’t so planned. I’d been typing when I raised my coffee cup to my lips and discovered it empty and dry.

No coffee.

But I had plans, and they included coffee.

Damnation.

I got up and went into the coffee to make more. When I returned, the cat had taken my chair. Curled up, he looked asleep.

Could that be right? I’d been gone two minutes. He’d taken over the chair and gone to sleep in two minutes? Yes, I was suspicious.

He’s done this before, so I know the routine. I moved the chair out of my way (the cat didn’t move anything during this — not a whisker, not an ear, not even a tail twitch), dropped to my knees, and resumed my activities.

When at last I was did, I stood and stretched. Now I needed water. Turning sideways, I slipped past the sleeping cat on the chair, my back to him.

That’s when I farted.

It wasn’t anything dramatic, just a loud burping noise.

That’s when the cat swatted me.

I stared down at him. “Did you just swat me?”

He was looking up at me. I swear that he looked defiant. I thought, he’s been planning this. He’s been thinking, I’ve had enough. The next time that he farts in front of me, I’m going to swat him.

I glared at him. “I don’t fart that often.”

Rearranging his paws, he lowered his head and closed his eyes.

I think he looked smug.

8 thoughts on “The Swat

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  1. Of course the cat was smug, they are smug about everything, including when THEY fart, lick themselves, pretend they didn’t break the wine glass full of wine. You know just because cats like to just push things off of tables just to watch them fall. Also to watch their humans scurry around trying to clean up after the mess they created. Maybe next time your feline friend will know better than to commandeer your chair. Oh who are we kidding, they will keep doing things to annoy their humans, lol. And we will continue to appease the feline gods 😸😼.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh, that is too funny! Once, Raven was asleep on my lap and one of the dogs came over and sniffed her. She opened one eye, punched the dog in the face with her closed paw, then went right back to sleep. Needless to say, the dog never sniffed her again!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. One cat we had sat watching a beagle run around the yard having a good time with people. After a bit, the beagle sat down to rest. Our cat, Jade, stole up behind him. When he turned at the last minute, she smacked him across the face three times, then turned around and walked back to the house.

      Cats. They’re never above teaching others a lesson.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Mol!! Yes- we cats can be very expressive- my Can Opener told me the other day to straighten up, or I wouldn’t see the outdoors again until I’m an old cat!

        That’s a little unfair, since all I did was call her a flipping moron. I really don’t know what her deal is!

        Liked by 1 person

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